Sunday, July 27, 2008

McDonald’s McDumb@$$

Today was the last day I will buy anything from the fast food establishment known to the majority of the world as McDonald’s. Yes, you heard it here. Feel free to point at me and scream if you see me even eyeing some greasy fries. I have HAD IT! McDonald’s has long been my least favourite of the fast food franchises. Today they have solidified their placement at the bottom of the list. In fact, as I inferred, they are not even ON said list.

What has happened that this mecca of fried would be deliciousness has so disgruntled Beach Mama as to be banished from her world? Well, it began years ago, when on a road trip. This first egregious incident happened at 8:30 in the morning. We pulled into a McDumb@$$ for some quick drive-thru breakfast. The Dude and I had been extolling the many virtues of a certain breakfast pancake style sandwich and decided to pick one up. Remember, it is 8:30 am. We were informed by the barely coherent attendant that they were no longer serving breakfast. WHAT!??!!?!? Yes. This particular restaurant began serving breakfast at some ungodly hour and decided, that, well, 8:30 am is a fine time for lunch. What – you don’ crave a floppy grease soaked fish sandwich at 8:30? How about a Big Mac. But, by all means, DO NOT try to order a egg and cheese biscuit and heaven forbid you want pancakes.

Ok, so that is what began my loathing that is McDonald’s, now known to me and my faithful bloggers as McDumb@$$. I decided to write this off as a twilight zone-esque anomaly.

Onto today…

We slept in a bit and by the time we were packed and ready for travel to Charleston, SC it was after 11. So the Dude and I decided to drive through a McD’s for some LUNCH. Little Mermaid got a Happy Meal, and Dude and I got sandwiches. Little Dude also got a Happy Meal. First, we nearly didn’t get our drinks b/c the window cashier was shirking her responsibilities. Then, we parked to check our food. Good thing too, b/c we were missing an order of fries. So Dude went back into the grease bucket to get the fries. When he got back we realized we were given any napkins. SHEESH! Good thing I had some extras stashed in the glove box. Oh, I also forgot to mention that the health code rating was a mere 90. That’s out of 115 folks. Yup. You KNOW we sucked down some e-coli with our cokes.

Ok, whatever. It wasn’t until we stopped for a bathroom break that Little Mermaid discovered she never received her apple dippers with her UN-Happy Meal. ARGH!

So we carry on. Later in the afternoon Dude was thirsty and Little Mermaid was hungry, still upset about her AWOL apples. So like a good father, Dude pulls into a McDumb@$$ drive-thru to order said apples. He also orders a vanilla milkshake for himself. Notice I wrote ordered and not got… We are pulling onto the road when Dude goes to take a satisfying slurp of his coveted VANILLA shake. Wait. Not vanilla. STRAWBERRY! UGH! NO! SAY IT ISN’T SO!
It wouldn’t have been SO bad if these last 2 incidents had happened on different days. But for this to happen in 2 separate McDumb@$$’s, in 2 different states, on the same day?! No, it’s fate. I’m clearly not supposed to buy from these people. I can quit while I’m ahead. No bolt of lightening needed. I get it. Moving on…

Finally we get to Grandmum-mum and Grandpa-pa’s house in Charleston. The Dude and I unpack the car while the G-rent’s play with the G-kids. We have sandwiches for dinner. I brought my first vegetable from my organic garden. A beautiful green bell pepper. Aahh! So good! Should have taken a picture. Oh well.

Then my Mom (aka Mamasita or Grandmum-mum) had planned a mini birthday party for me. Complete with hand delivered invitations to the Dude, Little Dude and Grandpa-pa (aka Padre-man, my Dad). We took pictures and Little Dude helped me blow out my candles. Some were trick candles, yeah, those never get old. The cake was funfetti. G-d I love those. So colourful and happy. I opened cards and presents. Got a cool candle warmer. Looks sort of like a mini crock-pot and it holds those great big candles in glass jars. I never, almost never, light candles. I too often forget their lit so now I use warmers to melt the wax and get all the scented loveliness in the air. I also got some warm vanilla sugar scented bath goodies in a super cute basket. And school supplies. I love school supplies, and I’ll actually need them this year, as I’m going to be taking a class at UNCG this Fall.

The Dude and Padre-man played Bocce Ball, Little Mermaid served play tea and I cut out paper strips for that paper purse project. Oh yes folks, I’m on the verge of a break through!

It’s been thoroughly great evening at the ‘rent’s house in SC. Mom and I hit Wal-mart for some groceries tonight and now we are all going to bed. I’m pooped. One of these days I’ll catch up on my sleep…

Later Gators!